How You Stop Comparing Yourself and Build a Career that Feels Right

A Calgary Career Coach Helping You Cut Through the Noise

We live in a world that praises highlight reels. You scroll through someone’s “success,” their dream job, their ideal lifestyle, and it’s easy to feel like you’ll never measure up. Social media conditions us to seek external validation and chase an impossible standard of greatness.

As a certified Work-Life & Career Strategist based in Calgary (and offering coaching online across Canada), I help individuals build careers that reflect who they are, not who they think they need to be to succeed. At Brilliant Person Career Coaching, I guide people through self-discovery, direction, and strategic execution using a whole-person framework rooted in well-being and long-term sustainability.

One of the most common blocks I see today? Comparison culture, fuelled by social media and shaped by perfectionism.

The Comparison Trap: When Social Media Sets the Standard

According to a study published in Computers in Human Behaviour, people who use social media more frequently report higher levels of anxiety and lower self-worth; especially when they compare themselves to others online (Vogel et al., 2014).

The result? Paralysis. We become so afraid of failing that we don’t even try. Our ambitions shrink: we stall on action and we doubt our abilities. Even the idea of applying for a job or exploring a new direction feels heavy, because we’ve convinced ourselves that we have to be perfect from day one.

"Comparison isn’t inspiration; it’s distortion. And when we internalize that distortion, we stop showing up."

Perfectionism Is Not a Path; It’s a Prison 

Many people confuse perfectionism with high standards. But perfectionism is actually rooted in fear of judgment, shame, or not being "enough." Research by Dr. Brené Brown shows that perfectionism is a defence mechanism, not a productivity tool, and it leads to burnout, procrastination, and constant dissatisfaction.

A client of mine (a highly intelligent analytical type) once said to me, “I just can’t start unless I know it’ll work out.” We unpacked where that belief came from: years of comparing himself to others in his industry who seemed lightyears ahead. But what he didn’t see was their process. Their failed experiments. Their years of quiet skill-building.

Once we shifted his focus to his own progress through structured goals, purposeful action, and rhythm, he started creating momentum. He landed on opportunities not because he was perfect, but because he was present, prepared, and growing.

The Harmony Framework: From Comparison to Authentic Growth 

At Brilliant Person Career Coaching, I use a grounded and practical framework centered on four internal pillars:

• Discipline: Creating healthy habits, routines, and systems that build consistency and reduce overwhelm.

• Pleasure: Rediscovering the joy in learning, experimenting, and building something that feels true to you.

• Peace: Letting go of hustle culture and choosing grace, rest, and balance over grind and burnout.

• Purpose: Clarifying your “why,” building your own legacy, and making intentional career decisions rooted in meaning.

  
  

These inner anchors are supported by four external phases that build long-term career sustainability:

1. Self-Discovery & Career Clarity: Uncover your values, strengths, personality traits, and vision. This phase is about reconnecting with who you are—not who you feel pressured to become.

2. Career Strategy & Goal Setting: Turn that clarity into an actionable plan. Think timelines, steps, accountability, and rhythm over hustle.

3. Skill Building & Implementation: Learn by doing. Get feedback. Test your ideas. Allow yourself to grow through action, not just thought.

4. Career Evolution & Sustainability: Create systems that support your long-term well-being. Learn how to evolve without needing to “reinvent” yourself every few years.

This framework isn’t about fast results. It’s about lasting fulfillment. It helps you transition from “what should I be doing?” to “what is mine to build?”

Why Comparison Hurts More Than It Helps

When we compare our real lives to someone else’s filtered timeline, we forget context. We forget timing. We forget that success is deeply personal—and often messy behind the scenes.

A 2018 study in The Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that limiting social media to just 30 minutes a day significantly reduced depression and loneliness. This isn’t just about screen time; it’s about regaining mental space and emotional clarity.

If your attention is constantly pulled outward, how can you tune inward long enough to know what you actually want?

Reclaiming Peace Through Discipline: Practical Steps

The opposite of comparison isn’t confidence; it’s clarity. And clarity comes from rhythm, self-awareness, and intentional choices. Here are strategies rooted in your Harmony Framework to help you find it:

1. Start With a Grounding Routine: Before consuming the world’s input, reconnect with your own. This might include prayer, journaling, stretching, or 15 minutes of goal visualization. These practices helps you respond to your day, not just react to it.

2. Set Digital Boundaries That Honour Your Peace: Instead of doom-scrolling, try creating a “non-negotiable” buffer: no social media one hour after waking or one hour before bed. Use that time for reflection or micro-progress on your career strategy.

3. Focus on One Career Phase at a Time: Overwhelm is often a sign we’re trying to do too much at once. Ask yourself: Am I in a discovery season, or an execution season? Let that answer determine your next best step.

4. Lean Into Community and Coaching: Progress accelerates when you’re not doing it alone. A trusted coach or mentor can help you see your blind spots, refine your goals, and celebrate your growth; even when it feels small.

   
   

Build a Career That Aligns With Your Legacy, Not Their Likes

You weren’t meant to chase trends.

When you root your journey in Discipline, Pleasure, Peace, and Purpose, you stop measuring your life against timelines that don’t belong to you, and start measuring progress by alignment, meaning, and joy.

Let’s Find Your Rhythm, Together

Whether you’re stuck in a comparison loop, battling perfectionism, or simply unsure of your next step, I can help. Let’s build a career roadmap that’s honest, strategic, and aligned with your life.

Yules Chan (BFA, CWS, CCS) is a CPC-registered career development professional based in Calgary, Alberta, passionate about helping clients discover their hidden genius through strategic, creative, and practical career planning. Brilliant Person Career Coaching offers in-person and online services to support your career journey.

Call +1 (403) 891-2673 or visit www.brilliantperson.ca for a 15-minute complimentary consultation.